he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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