well I can't set my house on fire every night
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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