I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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