we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
