I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
