East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
