What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
