I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
