it wasn't lemon gatorade
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
