he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
