why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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