It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
