Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
