I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
