So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
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that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
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He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
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