My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My vagina is very pro this idea
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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