Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
