Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
