first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
