I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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