dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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