Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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