She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
