Me too!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
