If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
