If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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