hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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