the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
