I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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