i can't believe i had my finger in that
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
