if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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