this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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