please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
