so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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