so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
