i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
