talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
