Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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