If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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