it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
