I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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