is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
