Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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