Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
