Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
