i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
