I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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