We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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