Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize