she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
