She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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