i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
