Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
