first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize