oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
