ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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