that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
