I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
