Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
