we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Life is so much better after having sex.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
