I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize