2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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