I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
