i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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